Sunday, May 2, 2010

Run the other way

Friday I took Bear to the dog park. I figured I'd take him and let him run and play, since the weatherman was promising thunderstorms Saturday and Sunday. Bill was still on the road, heading home but still an hour and a half out, so Bear and I went by ourselves.

We got over there with no problems. Bear is still exhibiting mild anxiety on car rides, but he did pretty well. No trying desperately to get in the front seat with me, and I gave him a few treats when we drove over particularly bumpy patches and railroad tracks.

We get there, and there are a few others already there. Bear and I enter, and he takes off running and playing. It was hot Friday, about 85, so all the dogs were playing for short periods, then taking breaks, laying under the benches and picnic table, digging holes to lay in the cool dirt. We were there for over an hour, and Bear seemed uninterested in more play. He was even following me around a bit, something he rarely does there. I decided it was time to go - he was done playing, we could get home, see Bill, get some dinner for all of us. Of course, when I put his leash on him, several of the other dogs had started playing again, so Bear wanted to join them! But I called to him, got his attention, and he went somewhat willingly to the exit.

Outside the double gates, Bear wants to sniff around. I let him sniff a bit, and he marks. Time to go to the car. I open the door, and Bear lays down. Laughs. I try to get him in - "Jump up, Bear! Come on buddy, time to go home." Yeah, whatever. He's having none of it. I thought maybe if I try the other side of the car, he'd go in a little easier. The seat is moved farther forward on that side, so it's easier for him to jump in, and that's usually the side he enters from. So I close the door and start to walk to the other side of the car. Bear was right by my side and started to walk away from me. I didn't think anything of it, because the loop of the leash was wrapped around my hand. Except it wasn't. (And looking back, I think a part of my brain knew this.)

I watch in horror, as if I'm some third party bystander to the whole thing, as Bear's leash drops to the ground and drags behind him. And he's walking in the direction of the street, a very busy street at 6:30 on a Friday. It takes Bear mere seconds to realize that he is free, and he begins to run. My brain is racing, my amygdala and hippocampus screaming, "OH MY GOD HE IS HEADING TO THE STREET. HE IS GOING TO BE HIT BY A CAR." I knew Bear would never come to me if I called him. Not in those circumstances, his recall is not that strong. (Yeah, yeah, I know - shut up.) I could picture him running through the street, me out there with him, dodging cars, trying to get to him before it was too late. And at the same time, thank God and Katie and all the authors of dog training books who wrote about this so it was in my brain, my cortex thought, "Run the other way. He will give chase and follow you." (Thank you Dr. Patricia McConnell, for explaining the phenomenon of my brain thinking very different things at the exact same time. I thought maybe I was a little crazy before I read your blog, laughs.)

And then I ran. I called "Bear!", and I ran. And ohmygosh, thank you God and Katie and trainers and authors again, HE RAN AFTER ME. Shaky breath. The crisis is averted. Bear quickly passes me up and runs ahead, which is awesome. Ahead of us is a long driveway, and we're running on the grassy divider. The dog park is adjacent to a pet and people cemetery, and it is huge. I know that even if it takes me a little while to catch Bear, he is safe. And that is all that matters in that moment.

Bear is running joyfully ahead of me, glancing back over his shoulder to see if I'm still chasing him. Behind me I can hear people in the dog park - they've realized Bear is loose and are coming to help. I remember thinking, 'How can I get close enough to grab him?' I don't, however, remember what I did to get him to turn around and come to me. But he did. He ran towards me, I think jumped up at me in play. And I grabbed him. Just reached my hands out to his neck and back and grabbed. I didn't care if I hurt him a bit, I just wanted to get a hold of him. Didn't want to go for the collar and miss it through the fur on his neck. Didn't even dawn on me to go for the leash still dangling from his collar. But I got a hold of him. And collapsed to the ground, grabbing his leash now, pulling him to me, onto my lap, wrapping my arms around him. And then, yes, I did all the things that dogs probably don't like, especially when they've just been stopped while having the time of their lives. I grabbed him, I hugged him tight to me, I buried my face in his fur, I kissed him and squeezed him hard. And I cried, tears of joy and relief. I could see a few of the guys from the dog park, poised to come running to help, now watching to make sure we were okay. I just sat on the cool grass with my dog in my arms, both of us safe and together.

We sat there for a few minutes, me letting the tears fall, my breathing and heart rate returning to normal, holding Bear to me all the while. Bear stayed with me, on my lap, not struggling at all. Or at least that's the way I remember it, laughs. After a few minutes, we got up and walked slowly to the car, Bear happily sniffing at the grass and flag poles. As we approached, one of the guys asked if I was alright. I sniffled and said that I was okay now. He asked Bear if he was alright. I laughed and said he was fine, he loves to run! That's all I could manage at the time - I was still much too raw to talk coherently for more than that. Bear and I got in the car and got settled in. He rode up front with me that trip. I don't think I took my hand off him more than 3 times, and that was to get a treat for him. I spent that drive, all 25 minutes of it, petting him, scratching him, running my fingers through his fur.

And the past few days, yes, I am hyper-vigilant about making sure I have a secure grip on that leash. And I'll never forget to run the other way.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Where to start?/All together now

Wow. I haven't posted since...September! I don't even know where to start. Lots of things have happened, of course, in the last 6 or 7 months. But it's a lot to say. And I forget stuff, lol.

Plus, I'm wondering right now what I can write, how much and in what way so that I don't upset other people in my life. I'm not so sure some of them would want details posted for all the world to see. At the same time, I want to write, about my life, what's going on, my thoughts and feelings. And I just want to write, period.

But how do I do that without effecting others? I can't possibly, as our lives are so intricately interwoven. With family, with friends, with people we see every day but don't know. Virtual strangers. Like this guy I drove behind on my way to work every day. No, not stalking him, I swear. Just every day, I'd end up behind this guy at some point on this certain road. Don't ask me the make of his car. I don't really care all that much about cars, so I can't tell you. But I recognized it. And him sitting behind the wheel. The back of his head, neck and shoulders, lol. I never saw his face. And he'd turn onto the same next street that I took. And I'd follow him for a little ways, and then he'd turn off, I imagined to go to his place of work. And I'd continue on. And one day he wasn't there. Which, maybe I was running early, or late (most likely late, smile). But he wasn't there the day after that or the day after that. And I wonder what happened to him. My commuting buddy whom I never met, whose name I don't know, whose face I never saw. I could be standing beside him, waiting for a table at a restaurant, and I wouldn't know it. But I wonder what happened to him all the same. And I hope that all is well.

Because we're all here together. Maybe I live in the same house as you, or the same city. Maybe I follow you for a few miles on our way to our jobs. Maybe you're the woman who smiles at me for no particular reason as we pass each other at the gas station. Or maybe I'll never meet you or see you in person. But we're still connected, somehow, all together now.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hi everyone! It's been a few days since I've posted. I'm at work now, so I'll try to type a few things during breaks.

I'm feeling a bit better. Still congested and all, and VERY TIRED. I feel like I could lay down right here on the floor and sleep for 3 days. And that's saying a lot, 'cause the floor here at work is really dirty and there are bugs. (I don't want to kill the bugs, but I don't want them on me!)

Bill has bronchitis. He finally went to the doctor yesterday. The doc said he would either admit him or let him go and see how he felt. Of course, Bill opted to go home instead of the hospital. But the doctor told him that if he was still having trouble today, that he would admit him. We shall see. I know Bill is having a lot of trouble breathing, but I also know that he hates to go into the hospital.

Poor Bear has been so neglected the past week or so. And I don't see it getting much better if Bill goes into the hospital. It will be tough. First, when we went to the concert, I did spend some time with Bear in the morning and early afternoon. But then I put him in the downstairs bathroom while we went out. (That's where I keep him when I'm gone for a while, in the bathroom downstairs.) I think I put him in there around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. And we didn't get home until 2 am. I was so tired, I didn't even check on Bear. Plus, I confess, I didn't want to have to clean the bathroom at 2 in the morning if he had had an accident. And then I slept until about 10. He had pooped and peed in the bathroom. But it wasn't his fault. He was in there for a really long time. Then Saturday I was just really tired all day. I can't remember if I took him out or not that day. And Sunday was back was really bothering me, so I didn't do anything with him. Bill took care of him a lot for me on Sunday. Monday I stayed home from work because of my back. And I put Bear in the bathroom like I would if I had gone to work. That way I could rest my back and not have to worry about Bear. Tuesday I went to work. And got sick. It started with a sore throat. So Wednesday and Thursday I was off work. Those days and Friday I put Bear in the bathroom. I did feel a little bad for him, but I know it was for the best. Him being in the bathroom for the day is better than being out when I was sick - I would not have been patient and nice. At all. I'm a big baby when I'm sick. Bill gets sick and wants to clean the house. Screw that. I get sick and want to lay on the couch and have someone take care of me!

Anyway, Wednesday thru Friday, Bill and/or I did take him a few times to Waugh field to run, so he wasn't completely deprived. And when Bill feeds him, he always gives him tasty "extras", so I'm sure Bear LOVES when Bill feeds him!

And...pretty much the same story Saturday thru Monday (Labor Day, we were both off work). Although Bear wasn't confined during these days, except to sleep. I didn't really do much with him. He did go to the field one day to run, and he escaped. The field is great, but it isn't totally enclosed. Bear slipped out the gate. I was on foot and Bill in the truck in pursuit. Bear has great focus. But his focus has to be on me. If it's on something else, such as running around sniffing stuff when he escaped, forget it. I had to corner him on a porch (empty house, thankfully) and grab him. Booger.

So that pretty much takes me to yesterday, Tuesday, which I will try to get to later. I have to go wash my dishes before break is over. :)

Angel

Saturday, September 5, 2009

boo hoo hoo...I'm still sick

Hi everyone. I am still sick. Being sick sucks. I hate being sick. I am tired of being sick. I do not want to be sick anymore.

Okay. Moving on. I am an ant killer. I had taken a stuffed Kong (dog toy) to the backyard earlier today for Bear. He wasn't interested, because it was too hard to get the stuffing out. So anyway...I left it out there. Oops. I just went to get it and bring it in, because Bill is afraid raccoons will carry them away if I leave them outside. I don't know about raccoons, but the ants sure liked it. So I dipped it in the bowl of water out there to get the ants off. The ants all died. Now I feel bad that I killed the ants. They were just eating what I'm sure was an awesome find for them. Poor ants. I'm sorry.

Not too much happened today. Bill and I were invited to a friend's house for a party, but neither one of us felt up to going. So we stayed home. We did run out for a little while, took Bear to the field for a little while to let him run and stopped at the store for a few things. And that's about it. We're both just sitting around watching tv, feeling miserable. I finally got my soup!! Yeah!

That's it for me for now.

Angel

obedience class

Hi everyone. Just uploaded some pics from Bear's last obedience class.


I just thought this picture was so cute. This is Bear playing with his friend, Cheyenne.


Look at those teeth and those glowing red eyes!

Fun fun fun!

Playtime makes Bear sleepy. Sleepy Bear = good Bear.




Bear and I at his last class.







Bear and I showing off our trick, "peekaboo".

Thursday, September 3, 2009

what day is it?

Hi everyone. This is day #3 that I have been sick. I'll try to catch you up a bit. I think the last post was on Friday, before the concert.

The concert was AWESOME!! This was my first official concert, although Bill will argue that point, lol. We did see Dierks Bentley perform at the Grand Ole Opry, which was also awesome, but it wasn't really a concert. :) Let's see...Cletus T. Judd was first and sang about 3 songs. He cracks me up! Then it was Darius Rucker opening - he was great! He did some of his country songs, a few Hootie and the Blowfish songs, and he sang Purple Rain - loved it. Then Rascal Flatts came out. They were great. I love them. Love their lyrics. It did take us an hour just to get out of the parking lot, but we did enjoy watching the crazy people while we waited. Once we got on the road, I started to get restless. Bill told me to lay the seat down and see if that helped. It helped - I fell asleep! Slept pretty much the whole way home. We didn't get in until 2 am. Yikes. WAY past my bedtime.

Let's see...highlights...Saturday my back was a little tight, but I was okay. Sunday I was not okay. Spent most of the day taking it easy, icing my back. Monday it was a little better, so I got all ready to go to work, even left the house. I was thinking that I could go back and forth between being on my feet and moving around and sitting at my desk, icing my back. But sitting hurt worse than standing. So, I was going back and forth on whether or not I should go in (while driving to work) and finally just said, "What would be the best for ME? Forget work. I need to take care of ME." So I turned around and came home. Then Tuesday my back was feeling better. I went to work and started getting a sore throat. Uh-oh. Bill was sick, and I had caught it. And I've been home from work Wednesday and Thursday. I feel like crap. And for anyone reading this that has children and has taken care of their children while they themselves have been sick - GOD BLESS YOU. I don't even want to take care of myself. I want someone to take care of me. :) And taking care of Bear? Ugh. It's been very hard. I confess that I have put him in the bathroom, like I would if I were going to work. I just can't handle him all day. And Bill has helped a lot when he is home. Thank you to Bill! He doesn't feel well either, but he is more of a trooper than I!

I know there is a ton more stuff that I could say, but I think I'll end here for today. I'll try to write something each day, since I am feeling a little better. Thank goodness.

Goodnight for me.

Angel